Grasping a partner by the throat during sex, without choking them, is even more widespread among under-thirties
In recent years, commentators have raised concern about choking during sex among young people. Such commenters – including TV’s Lorraine Kelly – are somewhat older than Gen Z (the oldest of whom are now in their mid-to-late-20s) so what do young Britons think of the practice?
Younger people are less likely than their elders to see choking during sex as a ‘very extreme’ act
In her 2022 book Escape: How a Generation Shaped, Destroyed and Survived the Internet, millennial journalist Marie Le Conte wrote that younger generations considered choking during sex to be a relatively unremarkable occurrence: “If I were to rank it, I would say it sits somewhere around the light spanking mark: not something that happens every time you have sex with someone, but not so out of the ordinary that you would mention it when describing the experience to someone.”
YouGov data does bear this observation out, showing that younger Britons are less likely to see choking as particularly extreme. One in eight 18-29 year old men (12%) say that choking during sex is either tame or neither tame nor extreme, as do 12% of young women. Among men and women over-60, that figure is a mere 1%.
Likewise, while the majority in each age group see choking during sex as extreme, younger Britons are less likely to see it as “very” extreme than their elders.
Grasping a partner’s neck but without choking them is more tolerated among young people: 59% of 18-29 year old women describe this as either a tame sexual act or neither tame nor extreme, as do 59% of men the same age. By contrast, only 17% of older men and 9% of older women agree.
One in seven young women say they are choked by their partner during sex
Extreme though some may consider it, many young people are choking one another during sex. One in seven 18-29 year old women (15%) say that being choked features in their sex life, and a further 7% say they have tried it with a partner previously. Among men the same age, 10% say being choked features in their sex life, and an additional 4% have tried it before but do not incorporate it now.
It is worth noting that many young men and women say they are not sexually active or declined to answer when asked whether they are sexually active. If we look specifically at those young men and women who told us they have actually had sex before, 19% of 18-29 men and 25% of 18-29 women say they are ever choked by a partner during sex.
Grasping a partner’s throat during sex without restricting their airflow is more common still. A third of young women (33%) say their partner ever holds their throat during sex, with 21% of young men saying the same.
More still would like their partner to be grasping their throat during intercourse, with 43% of young women and 32% of young men wanting this to happen at least rarely when they have sex.
Unsurprisingly, younger Britons are notably more likely than their elders to have engaged in choking and neck-holding practices during sex.
Slapping during sex is still seen as extreme, while spanking has been normalised
We also asked about two other acts of simulated violence during sex: slapping and spanking. If the latter was ever shocking to Britons, it is no longer so. A majority of all groups see spanking as either ‘tame’ or ‘neither tame nor extreme’.
Approaching four in ten young women are spanked as part of their sex life (39%), as are 20% of young men.
Slapping is another matter – the majority opinion among every group is that slapping is an extreme sexual act, although the youngest Britons are slightly less likely to say so than their elders, and are much likely to see it as “very extreme”.
Nevertheless, 7% of 18-29 year old women – and 8% of men that age – say that being slapped is a feature of their sex life.
What do you think about the idea of people choking each other during sex, changing sexual habits, and everything else? Have your say, join the YouGov panel, and get paid to share your thoughts. Sign up here.
Photos: Getty
