Last week Conservative Party Chief Whip and MP for Sutton Coldfield, Andrew Mitchell, lost his temper at police when he was made to get off his bicycle as he left Downing Street.
The police officer concerned reported the incident, prompting the Conservative MP to apologise for his disrespectful remarks and later issue a statement. In it, Mitchell reasoned that his outburst had come at the end of "an extremely long and frustrating day". The language used by the Chief Whip remains a source of speculation, but Mitchell emphatically denies calling Downing St police "plebs".
In light of the incident, we asked Labs participants to impart:
Whether or not they had ever lost their temper with someone that they did not know, and why
Or, if they hadn't, why they thought others might be driven to do so
Most participants in Labs said that they had lost their temper with someone that they did not know. Their explanations why tended to focus on three 'triggers': bad driving by other motorists, poor customer service, and aggressive sales pitching.
- A handful of people said that bad services on public transport had triggered an angry outburst, where people had taken out their anger on train conductors and bus drivers.
- A small section of people likened venting their rage to the phenomenon of online trolling. Other people said that people generally find it easier to lose their temper or abuse another person on the telephone or online, but much more difficult face to face.
On the other hand, those who said they had not lost their temper with someone that they did not know before voiced the belief that it was easier for people to argue with strangers, as a lack of emotional attachment and connection made it easier.
- Other explanations verged on these people being naturally aggressive and having been brought up with little or no manners.
- A smaller number of participants said that some people were simply predisposed towards losing their temper.
- Others said that people were more likely to become angry with strangers due to stress and frustration of everyday life taking their toll.
Why did you lose your temper with a stranger?
Click on the titles below to read quotes from panellists, representative of the views expressed by Labs participants
"It was poor driving!"
“A driver touched my backside on the N29. I am quite satisfied about losing my temper over things like these. This person was a teenager who I think I succeeded in embarrassing in front of a packed bus. I hope my reaction means he'll think twice before doing that to another woman” Anon
“They jumped a red light at road works even though they must have seen that they would then have to stop in the middle of the road and prevent the opposite stream of traffic taking advantage of their green light. The end result was chaos, a huge jam, and a lot of bad temper (not just mine)” Anon
“Extremely poor driving” Bri, Herts
“They were blocking our car in in a car park and even though they could see people were trying to get out they just sat there and ignored us” Anon
“Stupid moronic driving” GB, Edinburgh
“They illegally drove down the hard shoulder to leave a motorway traffic jam and then crashed into the side of my car when I tried to leave at the proper exit” Andy, York
“Their partner crashed into my car, but blamed us for it and also headbutted my husband” L Jones, Dagenham
"Bad customer service and aggressive sales tactics!"
“When I've lost my temper with someone I don't know, it's almost always been due to them 'not doing their job properly'. Customer service situations where one is passed from person to person and no one will take ownership for the problem. I'm usually incredibly polite to people that work in customer services as I don't think it's a great job and you're much more likely to get something resolved if you're positive, but when people go out of their way to be unhelpful or don't really listen to what you're saying it can push me to lose my temper” HZ, Leeds
“Bad customer service, being asked stupid questions” Anon
“They were unhelpful to the point of difficult when they were a customer service representative” Anon
“I was reaching for something off a shelf in a shop and had my hand on it when this woman knocked my hand away and snatched it off me” Kath N, Manchester
“Unreasonable so-called 'customer service' that has no interest in listening but with fake patience keeps repeating the same thing over and over again -- the jobs worth, impersonal "service" that pretends to smile and pretends to be interested but actually cares not a jot” Anon
“A shop assistant watched as I spent time choosing an item of clothing then waited until I got to the changing rooms and told me the shop was not closing but the changing rooms were and sorry I couldn't try it on now. It was not the type of clothing you could buy without trying it so she could have said something ten minutes earlier. For instance, if you want to try this one I should warn you the changing rooms are closing soon. I also do not see why she couldn't have kept them open two more minutes while I just popped in. There were two sales assistants standing outside them and the shop was a twenty-four hour supermarket, so it wasn't about to close. I told her she clearly didn't want the sale and refused to buy before I try” Anon
“Shop assistants not taking the hint that I did not want help even after I said no about ten times. I wouldn't say I lost my temper but I was abrupt” Simon, Essex
Why do you think people lose their temper with people that they do not know?
Click on the titles below to read quotes from panellists, representative of the views expressed by Labs participants
Viewpoint 1 - Lack of attachment or connection
“Believe that they won't meet them again therefore, their inhibitions are lost” Anon
“Because something has angered them and they are comfortable openly reacting in front of strangers” Anon
“Stress and frustration from everyday life, having a negative or stressful encounter with a stranger being the last straw” Anon
“Because you will probably never see them again and you won’t feel embarrassed about them” Daz, Cheshire
“Because it's easier to argue with a stranger than with someone close to you, less emotions involved” Sarah, Anon
“It's probably easy to let off ones steam on someone they don't know. They probably feel less guilty, and it’s easy to walk away from the situation if you know your never see that person again” Rudman, Falmouth
“They may find it easier than saying anything to the person who has actually caused their outburst. The stranger has probably just said or done something that most would see as innocuous, but was the straw that broke the temper-loser's back Anon
It's probably easier sometimes as they then don't have to justify themselves or see the person again” Anon
Viewpoint 2- Naturally aggressive people
“Their personalities are such that they are unable to restrain themselves when their anger is triggered. The fact that it is a stranger makes no difference if they have no self-restraint” Anon
“In general, people are rude, inconsiderate and have poor manners. It is not a surprise with so many people in the country, and their lack of manners, that tempers fray” Gareth, West Sussex
“Because they do not see that they may hurt somebody having no emotional connection to the person they don't know. Trolling is an obvious example” SY, Yorkshire
“Probably because they have a short fuse” Anon
“Because they are naturally aggressive people” Anon
“I think people probably lose their temper with strangers because the person is being rude and ill-mannered” Anon
Viewpoint 3- The daily grind of life
“Because they've had a long chain of frustrations, and eventually they blow their top. If it happens when they are with someone they don't know, that's who they lose their temper with” EV London
“They are unable to control their anger and are short tempered” Anon
“It may be because they have a lower threshold for stress or things not working out the way they would like them to, or they may have been under a lot of stress themselves and snap in a way that is out of character” Anon
Stress and frustration from everyday life, having a negative or stressful encounter with a stranger being the last straw” Anon
What's your view? Do you lose your temper frequently?
What do you think causes people to lose their temper with a stranger?
Add your voice to the debate in Disqus below
